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MLeMont Follow @mistersalesman

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by M LeMont

A reporter asked MMA fighter Nate Diaz about John Jones being suspended for taking drugs. He said, "I told you everyone is on fucking drugs, man."

So I decided to take matters into my own hands and write John Jones a letter.

Dear John,

Tell me what the fook happened, man?

Did you mean to cheat? See how stupid that sounds. How could you not know? I'm pissed not because you're screwing up your life but because I paid for ringside seats, plane tickets, and hotel reservations.

This is your second suspension and the second time I lost money. There comes a point in time when you have to EAT THE CAKE ELLIE MAE.

STAND UP like Tony Montana in the movie Scarface and tell everyone, I fucked up. "Watch out! You're looking at the bad guy, I'm rolling out of here. Say Goodnight! Say Goodnight. I'm the fucking bad guy!"

In the meantime, while you're contemplating what to say, I'm going to read, Write Like You're Already Famous which would also be a good book for you to help get you back on track. I'll wait right here until you give me an answer. I'm still a big fan.